Why do people tell suicidal victims that they should think of others?
My Ugly Hair asked:
People keep telling them that its selfish and they must think about other…
People keep telling them that its selfish and they must think about other…
As if they haven’t got enough of issues to deal with.
Do these people seriously think its going to help the victim at all?
Instead of assuring the victim that everything will be eventually ok, they just give the victim more burden, now the victim have to care about not hurting others when he’s already at the brink of not being able to handle the problems he have now.
Its like telling the victim to live just for other people’s sake
rustic on February 24th, 2009
yup
but i tend to think suicidal is cowardly
The Cheesecake! on February 27th, 2009
I understand your point. It IS overwhelming when they’re like, “Well, you’re being really selfish, you have no idea what you will do to your family.” But, in a way, (or at least, that’s how I think of it), they say it because they are desperate to keep you. They do it because they feel helpless, and they want SOMETHING, ANYTHING to make you change your mind.
And most people will hesitate if they care for their family.
Hey, remember, we had a talk about your hair? 
Haha. Let’s talk again.
Brer on March 1st, 2009
Life is overwhelming. Thinking of others is a good thread, though. Suicidal people often feel, and behave as if, they’re islands when in fact they’re part of a social network that they just can’t appreciate. Thinking of others first, before the self, gives a reason for one to exist: to bring net benefit to the larger community. If one believes that s/he is alone in the universe (solipsism), then it’s much easier to self-terminate.
delux_version on March 3rd, 2009
Actually, it’s good advice in a 2 fold way. 1) It’s helps the person know that their actions don’t impact only themselves, also, 2) they get their head out of thinking about their own worries and start thinking about others.
just me on March 5th, 2009
the reason people say that is so the person knows that their actions will not only affect them but others as well. can u imagine how a mother feels after her son has committed suicide, or a father, sister, fiance, daughter?? they say that so the person knows the possible effects of their actions will include others. maybe their love for someone will make them strong enough to not do it.
Ashish on March 6th, 2009
people want to make the victim, see the worth of living and among many other things the first thing that comes to their mind is , ” thinking about others”
what they actually want to do is show the victim how much others are suffering so, that the victim feels guilty about committing suicide and doesn’t do it again.
Paul on March 9th, 2009
Indeed. I agree with you. People who want to commit suicide often have low self-esteem and think they are a burden to others. Often they even feel that they are doing the people around them a favor by killing themselves, even if their friends and family don’t agree.
Besides telling someone to live for someone else is superficial and at best temporary. We actually need to tell people to be more selfish. Take their own feelings into consideration and regard themselves higher.